Hiring! Help me write good 'help wanted" ad

I know that Steve T and others say that good employees are out there but man they are getting harder to find than buying a cool cuff from Joe B.

Any ideas? I know what I want to say. Love to do a @Richard Baldwin rant type *help wanted ad. Just kidding Richard because we both know how hard it is to get and keep good help.

*I would think if Richard did a 'help wanted" ad it would go something like this (and I wouldn't blame him);

Carpet cleaner wanted. Lazy good...

Hiring! Help me write good 'help wanted" ad