The Pink Flyer...

I have been reading a book by John Caples (he's the guy who wrote, "They All Laughed When I sat Down At The Piano") and in the book, he says that many a time they just revamped an old successful advert. So it got me thinking. How could we tidy up the pink flyer? I have attached a page of the original, and a page of one I have been playing around with.

I would like to know what your thoughts are... If your only reply is I don't like either, then don't bother replying, let's try to be...

The Pink Flyer...